Walking Away and why..
In the late afternoon, I was sitting in my daughter’s room playing with her and playing the guitar, too after being in lockdown for a month or so. There’s nothing in this world that I love more than that little bundle of joy! I know myself, and if I’m tied down by anything I start pushing back. As none of us, living beings in this world have experienced this global lockdown situation before, during those early days it was all a bit much for me with constantly being home, no outlet and having a toddler around you fulltime 24/7 and all I wanted to do was feel progress in my new business and music. While in her room out of the blue I started playing ‘Walking Away’ on guitar and sang it out loud while sitting on the floor.
During that night’s sleep, I had been playing it over and over and over in my dream as I often do with songs and tunes and is often where ideas come from. I woke up at 4 am knowing I couldn’t sleep anymore and to just simply surrender to the inspiration, get the coffee going and thought, LET’S record it! 🙂
As I climbed up the steep stairs going from the living room that leads to an open attic area that overlooks the living room, on the right is my studio door, and normally I’d feel a bit guilty for going in there, meaning: whoever is downstairs has to look after our beautiful yet handful lil Sienna and knew that everyone was still asleep during this time. So, I felt free and driven, limitless to get the system going and quietly record my version of ‘Walking Away’ and how I heard it in my dream only moments ago.
The track has pretty much all first takes on it except the guitar. I think I was too excited and nervous and messed up a few times on that one hahaha! Who cared!? It was my morning.
Later that day I remember my wife telling me two days prior that there are a specific amount of levels of frustration and that I seemed to be at a certain level, not being able to let go of my old way and being very frustrated, she mentioned. ..She was right. And that must have played a big part in getting to acknowledge the facts and worked them then out after that. It was also remarkable that, straight after listening to what now is this version, one last quick mix, my stress levels were not to be found, I felt relieved and achieved, I had something of which I had complete control over, perhaps. Something that only I could fix. All parts are relevant? I believe so.
Things changed in my head
I also started meditating since then, at least once a day. Reminds me I need to do mine still.
Weeks have gone by since, and I’m currently sitting in the kitchen writing this up on my laptop while looking out of the window, onto the yard that overlooks a big open space and in a very silent home, for once, and the first time in months. Daycare opened up today here in Finland and the two months of non-stop noise here came to an end, today 🙂 Let’s hope that the entire world will be a little bit back to normal again, soon… One only wishes this kind of peace upon all humans today…
Wishing you all the best and for those that are frustrated during these times. Create. Express. Share. Speak. Allow. Connect. And don’t stop. Write stuff down. Maybe start writing blogs, help people with your experiences, keep writing, not even knowing exactly what it’s about, just go! My good friend and Yoga teacher Jasmine Matis made us challenge ourselves once with this practice this free writing method and it was amazing! What all freely came out of us was exhilarating. Okay, cooking time! Below is that version of that bordered with my frustration and expression. I only needed to express one line. And from where I observe it now, that one line is actually about me walking away from my old self, and into the new me.
Much love! Your boy, Tommyboiii !!!